In Other News...

Enter the Tavern, take a seat, order a drink, and get ready for chatter!
User avatar
Posts: 142

Re: In Other News...

Post by chrlpolk » Wed Oct 06, 2021 3:21 am

“Cellar? I hardly know her!”
A collection of Campfire tales

The Campfire is full of laughter tonight, as the low brow knaves and scamps of Castle Cranbourgh’s surrounding village and farmlands share tales of pillaging through the castle’s tunnels and the cellar of the nearby Watchtower, which has become something of a local tradition amongst new adventure-seekers.

“We hit this one spot, deeper in the tunnels, and the lamp blew out. We got turnt around in the darkness. My cousin kept lighting his lamp, but we were turned around, and so we kept winding up in the darkness! He started to despair, but our drunken bard had the flappin’est idea. He said, get this, when we reach that dark spot, look at the map BEFORE you light the lamp!”

Everyone nodded in agreement. I guess some things you have to personally experience to understand.

“I heard Myrthugal’s new hires found some more of that herb down in the tunnels. I don’t remember the last time I partied with Myrthugal. I remember going there, but not much else after!”

“The old flapper who tends the watch tower leaves the key upstairs. He had too many ‘close calls’ getting drunk and skinny dipping in the flooded cellar.”

Several young and clearly intoxicated impulsiveers gave each other quick glances, then abruptly raced away.

“So I had just turned the corner and bumped right into a flappin’ Rock Crawler! I grabbed it and shouted a warning to that rogue I hired on, and so he disappeared into the shadows. Well, I wrestled with the Rock Crawler, damn thing clamped onto my arm but good! I got it turned around to where’s the rogue could backstab it what for! And guess what? …The flappin’ rogue never came out of those shadows! And neither did the gold!”

The whole roster laughed heartily at the brute’s misfortune.

“Honestly, mate, why would you hire a rogue just to go to the tunnels? I’d take a conjurer to zap the traps. Best thing is, there’s enough old torches and potions lying all around, you don’t even need to rely on magic!”

“No seriously, I killed 8, no, 9 blood rats and got a rare drop!” boasted a skittish man telling an obvious exaggeration.

“Your wife’s knickers are a rare drop!”

“Rumor has it, one of Sprenger’s boys ditched the murder weapon in the tunnels. Next time I go, I’m going to check all the barrels.”

When a particular bard who had been quiet all night finally spoke, everyone waited in anticipation, wondering whether he would speak as a sage or a jester.

“I don’t make travel to the cellar anymore,” he began in imitation of a pompous aristocrat, “It’s beneath me.”

User avatar
Posts: 426
Location: Loch Caetar

Re: In Other News...

Post by Visstar » Wed Oct 06, 2021 10:39 am

An elderly farmer who lost his livelihood in a green skin attack chimed in, saying, "aye, laddie, life's better now the evil one is gone. I wish they'd do summat about that Astra-stuff, though!"
May the Vishanti guide me through this eldritch maze!

Post Reply